There is a war raging in this world and much of it transpires here on this soil. It is the battle of hatred and the main weapons of destruction are a lack of forgiveness and an intense desire to seek immediate justice for one’s own pained emotions. I speak of the war between grown parents, whether divorced or married, in which children more often than not become victims dragged into the heated and relentless warfare.
My friends, I realize that marriage can be a struggle. I realize that feelings are damaged, destroyed, frustrated and confused. Nevertheless, the raising of children is still a sacred responsibility. We would do well to protect them from the contention that may exist between parents rather than seek to make them players in it. When we seek to turn children against one parent or the other, for whatever reason, we do wrongly. When we place barriers between the child and his or her other parent for any reason save to protect them, we do wrongly. When we speak vengefully of the other parent in the child’s presence we not only do wrongly but also open ourselves to censure in the child’s eyes. When we turn to the child for marital guidance in any manner, we should only do so if we are willing to admit to ourselves and them that the roles have reversed and henceforth we acknowledge them as the parent and submit to their commands in all things. And we would still be doing wrongly.
I know of a woman who was severely abused by her husband. When she sensed he was in one of his moods she would consistently shield her toddling daughter and speak to him alone in the bedroom. After his hysterical insults and evil behavior she would turn toward the door, wipe the tears from her eyes, and forcing a smile, reach down to her wondering infant and hugging her, remind her child of all the good things the father had done for the child and say “Your daddy loves you very much.” Where is the justice? I assure you, justice has been served since that day. The father now walks in humility behind the mother and the ignorant offspring enjoys the love of a calm and peaceful atmosphere. God brought justice. And He will continue to do so if we will hold to the responsibilities we have to be nurturers for our kids.