Monday, June 11, 2012

Sadness is a Reason for Happiness

I recently overcame a bout of frustration, anger, and generally offended emotions.  Life has been more irritating of late than I would like to recount.  But one concept I learned years ago kept beckoning to me and is part of the reason I was able to keep life somewhat in perspective when my inward fury knew no bounds. 

Just over five years ago I found myself with classic symptoms of post traumatic stress.  One such symptom is the loss of emotion.  I recall many times sitting in my bathroom late at night staring blankly at the wall thinking "I can't feel anything.  I can't feel anything." for hours on end.  I could not feel happiness, sadness, pain, joy, or anything else at all.  Nearly everything was wiped cleanly off the board of my palate of emotions.  The only emotion I never lost in this terrible state was that of compassion.  I thank God I retained that, for I needed it terribly to make it through the situation as well as I did. 

But it taught me a powerful lesson that I have never forgotten.  Our feelings, even our negative feelings, are blessings.  Through post traumatic stress I also found myself with partial amnesia and I learned that everything we have, literally everything, can be taken from us.  Our minds, memories, emotions, abilities, and health can be swept from beneath us.  Am I happy about the frustrating week I have had?  No.  But I am grateful to God for allowing me such an experience, for it reminds me that I am indeed alive with the capacity to feel something strongly. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm always sad when I read about the hard time you've had. I'm glad things are better today and you can see the positive in a difficult day.

    I am trying harder to do this myself.

    There is always something to be grateful for. :)