Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Because I Said So

Since my infancy I have had something of a passion for extending the conventional religious commandments and explaining them in layman's terms.  We have all heard that adultery, fornication, envy, immodesty, alcoholism and the like are wrong and bad but generally the only explanation as to why they are bad and we should avoid them is because God said so.  And while that worked for me and may for many, there are countless people in this world, starting with teenagers, who just don't buy that answer.  It particularly proves a weak answer when given by parents.

When we level standards, rules, and the like toward kids or frankly anyone else, we must consider first that they are human beings capable of feelings and thought, and when they use their intelligence and emotion they ought to be applauded rather than stifled and rebuked.  When they use their intelligences against our demands and conditions, they need an actual reason that pertains to them and recognizes their own concerns.  "Because I said so" is a good way to create a lifetime of animosity and also have a person do exactly what you don't want them doing. 

So consider why you give a child a rule.  If a daughter wants to walk out the door in a mini skirt with bright red lip stick and you call her back, consider why you don't want her to enter a public place in that attire.  Is it because you are embarrassed or because she will be treated like a harlot?  If it merely to hide your embarrassment, perhaps you might want to rethink your acceptance of your daughter as a human being and not merely as a pawn in your social agenda.  If it is because she would be disrespected, lovingly explain that and then lovingly give her a higher option with the explanation that she is a beautiful, exquisite, special lady already and everyone else ought to treat her accordingly.  Hellfire and damnation never need enter the conversation.  God only gives us rules that are for our own logical happiness, if we can discover the higher logic behind them.   Ultimate happiness and religious commands generally go hand in hand.

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