Friday, August 31, 2012

You Are Never Forgotten

I feel much impressed to write this post though it proves intensely personal.  In writing thus I might have titled it a plethora of things but found this the most important point of the story.  It is a story of a small but exceedingly powerful miracle in my life.

Some time ago my father allowed me to read his journal.  It is filled with powerful testimonies of God and spiritual experiences.  But there was one passage that particularly stood out to me.  I was at the time feeling rather insignificant and forgotten and there was something irking me that I couldn't quite define.  I read almost sullenly at first but came eventually to a passage that caught my attention.  Almost as an aside, he wrote that his four year old daughter Michelle (me) had woken up crying and he had put her back to sleep.  In the very next breath he went on to relate for the first time in his journal a health issue he had as a child which involved having terrible seizures.  It seemed as he was reflecting on things without any rhyme or reason to his train of thoughts but the juxtaposition hit me like a ton of bricks.  He could not have known at the time that over twenty years later I would become ill and endure over 1, 000 horrifying seizures myself. 

I felt an incredible peace wrap around me as if to give me the conviction that long before the traumatic events of my life led to this condition God knew it would happen, that it was part of His plan for me and that all would turn out well.  I felt that though my father didn't know it himself he had served as an instrument many years before for God to bring me comfort and to teach me He had never forsaken me.  For the first time since the seizures began I felt that God had planned for me to have this illness and that there were defined purposes to my unspeakable anguish, though I still do not understand fully what all those purposes might be.   I had known that all trials have their spiritual reasons and that God was at the helm but I suppose in that particular respect had, due to my weariness, felt myself abandoned.  My friends, we are never forgotten.  In the pain of our trials we are never truly left alone. 

No comments:

Post a Comment