Friday, September 7, 2012

A Word on Abuse

I have for most of my life seen, heard of or dealt with abuse on many levels and in various ways.  I have acted as a counselor for those being abused.  As a child my family took in two girls who were being abused within their home.  I have worked with abusers and helped them turn their lives around.  It is a topic I know quite well.  And one of the interesting things is the psyche of abused person.

Likely a person will never clearly, rationally think "I am being abused."  It doesn't come like that.  They will usually blame themselves, particularly if they grew up in a house with domestic abuse, because they will have been told over and over that the behavior is their fault.  This kind of thinking perpetuates the abuse and allows it to continue.  The other thing a person will begin thinking is that abuse is normal and acceptable.  Let me be clear.  It's not. 

If you feel like you are continually afraid, cannot speak out, have to walk on eggshells, are never good enough or deserve verbal or physical distress, I am talking to you.  The people who are creating this emotion in you are abusing you.  Period.  And the good thing is that you are more powerful than they are.  They may seem physically stronger, they may yell, scream, break things and the like but you are eternally powerful and their greatest fear is that you recognize your own potential.  Once you recognize your own worthiness, and make no mistake - you are a worthy person, their cruelty will have no hold on you.  I know a person who has had to stay in an abusive situation in order to protect her kids who do not know what happens behind closed doors.  Her eventual recognition of who she was and other circumstances that God placed in her life has turned her abuser into a cowering pitiful sight and his hatred now has no where to go except into himself.  My love and blessing to you and good luck!


  1. I was sexually and a few times physically abused by my father. I became a Christian at 19 and I'm now 62. I still have a lot of problems, even though I've been in therapy. But I thank God He has been with me through all of this and I'm thankful I have been able to live a fairly normal life (minus two breakdowns).

    Believing I am worthy is an attitude I've never reached. When I make a mistake or even think about a past mistake I say to myself, "God hates you. Your mother and father hate you." I talk back to myself and quote scripture, but these words always come into my heart and mind. At least I know why these thoughts come to me and I try to ignore them.

  2. Please understand that I respect you so much for having worked as hard as you have in this. I pray you find out some day how truly worthy you are. I understand and my heart goes out to you beyond expression. And I promise you that God can heal all wounds, though it may take a lifetime or more. You will prevail. I love you, my dear Belle!