Sunday, March 2, 2014

Haunted by Antigua

* This is from an experience I had some years ago at one of the lowest points of my life.  I had been under very difficult circumstances and had trusted implicitly that certain people who claimed to care about me would be there for me.  Instead of that, they turned on me and betrayed me in the most unthinkably painful manner imaginable.  Later, when I traveled to Antigua, Guatemala, I found a mirror of that situation in the battle worn city.  Although it was one of the most painful moments in my history, it, along with other situations, helped teach me to trust in the Lord rather than to trust in fallible human beings.  It taught me to turn inward and find greater strength in myself and cultivate a relationship with God I could not have gained in any other way.

Antigua keeps on haunting me
   The city draws on memories
 The feeling beckons me forward.

The Spanish city
            It calls to my blood.
Common blood - I can't resist it
     Never can turn it off.
  But never gonna give into it.

It wakes me in the night
    Wrenching sweat from my skin
  Passion and memories thick surround me
Try not to sleep.

Antigua, city of my heart
       Battle worn Spanish ruins
Left that way because of loyalty
   To something that couldn't protect it.

Distance between Antigua and the Motherland
      And Antigua belongs in Guatemala's arms.
  The Motherland is a memory
            And Antigua finds honor and love.

No more do I want the ocean waves
   To wake me from my sleep.
 They're all consuming, pulling me into them
         A voice carries my name on the wind
     Calling from the east,
But never, never will it be answered.

Battle worn Spanish ruins
   Left that way because of loyalty
To something that couldn't protect it.

I sleep in corpse pose now.

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