Thursday, January 22, 2015

My Own Spiritual Beginnings

Until five years ago I thought my spiritual journey through this life proved typical to the point of downright boring.  I assumed that everyone experienced the same kinds of things I did as a child and took it for granted that we were all on the same page.  Knowledge of the world changed my mind and I have felt from time to time to disclose some of those intrinsic understandings and spiritual manifestations that have helped cultivate my character and person before God and in life.  

There were a few truths with which I feel I was born, one of which was the absolute certainty that this world is nothing but a speck of dust in the overarching realm of eternity.  There seemed to be two worlds before me in my young mind - the so called "real" one, which consisted of parents and siblings, and the spiritual one that to me seemed so much more tangible and important.  I could almost remember heaven in my infancy and those memories crowded my mind, drawing me toward them and separating me as it were from the temporal world around me.  In conjunction to this truth was the fact that God was my Father and that I came from a higher and purer world than this planet we call earth.  I could feel it, know it, almost remember it, and it played into everything I thought and believed.  Contention was deplorable to me, particularly in the home, for I felt that this was surely not the kind of life I had once lived before coming to this fleshy existence via birth.  I recall countless times weeping into my pillow for hours from sheer homesickness and it often seemed that I couldn't bear to be in this temporal world another minute.  The other events of my life seemed mere frivolous details to me; this longing for a home with my Father and my God was the real meat, desperate need and almost constant focus of my life.  

Another fact that I seemed to immediately and fully comprehend was that of the reality of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I admit it took nearly twenty years to gain the kind of testimony of Jesus Himself that I possess today, but from the beginning His sermon on the mount seemed to me a road map for life.  My young and inexperienced mind could not comprehend how people claimed vehemently and even contended passionately that Jesus's doctrines were perfect but then would argue just as passionately that they didn't apply in real life circumstances - that loving an enemy was unrealistic and that turning the other cheek was weakness and wrong.  Perhaps it sounds like self righteousness, as it obviously did to those around me at the time.  In truth I was not meaning to be offensive, but was simply a child who in many ways operated out of cold, unbending reason, honestly confused at the seeming duplicity I found in the world around me.  It seemed logical to me that if God, who knew all things, gave a command He did not give it as a suggestion or an idea of what might apply sometimes.  Either the doctrine was true, or it wasn't.  If it was true, then we must put the cause of God first in all things and behave in a Christlike manner regardless of the circumstances, trusting that God would fight our battles, or if not, be ready to die with clean hands and pure consciences.  Maybe the idea seems reckless, but I have used it many times and believe it just as much today as I did as a child.


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