My dear, gentle reader. I have wearied your patient ears with my own words for some time but today I would like to extend a reprieve and introduce two new, extraordinary published authors. They are filled with creativity and passion. They have read extensively from their earliest moments and quote books from Harry Potter to Shakespeare. Their names are Julia and Joshua Burger, aged eight and seven respectively and they would like to teach the lesson to their fellow kids that even though it is written on the internet in print, it just might not be true!!! I will now turn the time over to them to teach in their own words and in their own magnificent way!
Julia: Queen Elizabeth II ate a big, fat, car.It is true. I saw it!!!!!!!
Joshua: my water bottle yells when it eats a pickle.Its true I saw it!!!!!!
Julia: Aldebaran punched VY Canis Majoris in the chest. i was the referee.
(Editor's Note: For those who don't know, Aldebaran and VY Canis Majoris are names of stars.)
Joshua: Every time I go walking I always get spanked by the sidewalk.
Julia: VY Canis Majoris got his head stuck in the toilet. It took two plumbers and a goldfish tank to get him free! (Editor added that last sentence.)
Joshua: My cat has laser eyes and his paws are shaped like a couch! (Editor's note: We have a cat???)
Julia: VV Cephei broke his arm and went to the hospital. He got two thousand X rays of his arm and figured out it was fractured. (Editor's note: VV Cephei is another star, for those who don't spend their time studying astronomy in vast detail.)
Joshua: My bottom got stuck in a cholla cactus and I got stuck hanging there for two days! Finally my yell got stronger and a trampoline had to cut me down!
Julia: Regal (another star) ate a toaster! (Editor's note: Did it include strawberry pop tarts? Oh - she informs me that it did.)
Joshua: My cat is invisible and likes to get an ax and cut off my limbs. (Editor's Note: Oh, that's why I didn't know we had a cat. It's invisible!)
Julia: I have a pet banana who has a big mouth. He says, "I am very skinny but I want to be fat!" (Editor's note: There is a lesson in that somewhere suitable for our anorexic society. I may extend it to a full blog post later....)
Joshua: Moaning Myrtle got her ear stuck in the toilet because she is ghost. (Editor's note: ...Ummm...yeah...that makes perfect sense!)
Julia: Sir Nicholas got his head stuck in the ceiling fan. (Editor's note: Which is particularly difficult for a disembodied ghost like the one from Harry Potter to do, if we realize.)
Joshua: My teeth are pitch black even though I spend all my time brushing and I've never held anything else except the toothbrush and the tooth paste. Even at school. (Editor's note: Except for the few times he feeds and pets our invisible cat. Of course.)
Hope you all had an enjoyable read. We had a very enjoyable Family Home Evening teaching all of you! Until next time, with love, Julia and Joshua Burger! Ha, ha!