Thursday, May 14, 2015

Divorce and Remarriage

I feel very humbled in discussing one of the topics that has been much on my mind of late and to find a light of hope and positive energy in a situation which often seems so bleak.  I have seen many of my friends and family face the very difficult crossroads of life that include remarriage and I recognize that divorce is one of the hardest things in life to endure - not just the realization that a marriage is falling apart, not just the stress of the actual filing, not just the lifestyle change necessary at that time but the constant ongoing compromising thereafter when the two parties have children to share between them.  It is unsettling.  It is difficult.  But there is good news.

Often in divorce we find quite a lot of blaming, hurt feelings and the like, and it may seem that a massive conflagration of negativity scorches through our lives.  But wherever you see ashes, look for the rising phoenix.  I believe that when we have given their all to be a good, morally upstanding person, there is no real failure for us - just necessary transitions.  Giving one's all is a success in and of itself.  I know, as well as many of my wonderful readers, that there is a plan and that God has all of us in hand.  He knew divorce would happen before it did and though it may seem all existence is over, yet the soul is eternal and clinging to the Lord, we can find the strength to get out of bed and keep going each day. 

I have seen some of my friends with children remarry other people who have also had children in a previous marriage.  There must needs be a great deal of forgiveness on many sides - compromising with ex wife and ex husband, children learning to get along with step siblings, the relationship between step parent and child, and a great deal of necessary kindness, understanding, and respect for personal space on every single side of the coin, some of which you didn't know existed.  But truly, God is still at the helm and I often think that those who end up in these "mixed families," as I have heard it called, are sometimes those people who have the most valiant of spirits.  They are those who prove so strong, so courageous, so powerfully inclined to peace and love that God knew that the best way they could grow was to give them something particularly difficult.  Perhaps they were too strong to have a mild, typical marriage.  Perhaps God knew that they had it in them to take something of particular difficulty and meet it head on with those Christlike attributes necessary to turn it into a heaven on earth.  Perhaps the Lord allows certain people to endure trials of that nature because He knows their souls are strong enough to reach out to all, however remotely involved and call them family.  Perhaps He knows the merit of a person's souls and wants to give them a chance to shine more powerfully than they could otherwise, proving that kindness is more powerful than grudge, reaching out with patience and kindness in spite of difficulty and gracing everyone involved with light and warmth, even as the golden rays of the rising sun.  Maybe He has enough faith in those people involved to know that they are particularly capable to turning blackened difficulty into brilliant opportunity.  My prayers and respect to all who find themselves in those circumstances and my faith in your ability to let your light shine more exquisitely through the would be darkness.

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