Thursday, September 10, 2015

"You're Praying for HER?!?!?!"

Two people I love very much recently fell into a tiff that nearly ended in a physical brawl.  The argument was that the guy was generally extremely kind to the girl and treated her like gold.  She was not a bad person by any stretch but she was perhaps thoughtless and certainly did not enjoy obeying the golden rule.  This had continued for quite some time until the guy, succumbing to various other stresses in his life and finally feeling her thoughtlessness for him again, he snapped and literally started screaming in her face.  He had lost it and as he screamed all her haughtiness vanished and fearful tears took its place.  After a moment I pulled him away from her and tried to act as peacemaker.

The first thing I do in such situations is pray.  They both heard me plead with God for wisdom and also that peace might reside where chaos had been.  I prayed that the man's feelings would mend and that he would feel the peace of the Lord in his life.  Then I prayed for the girl, who was still shaking with uncontrollable sobs.  I asked that the Lord give her peace and hold her in His arms.  After the prayer, the guy turned to me in anger, "You're praying for HER?!?!?!" My response was that I knew he was hurt and that his feelings were valid, but also I could see that she was afraid and also hurt.  My prayer for her did not diminish in any way my concern for him or the idea that he had had to deal with her rudeness far too much.  It was just that I could see both people as human beings who were feeling horrible at that particular moment. 

Sometimes we feel obligated to choose sides in an argument, or to hate one person in order to support another.  I do not believe that God feels that way or wants us to give ourselves to anger or hatred.  He loves all His children.  He can see from everyone's perspective.  He wants everyone to be happy.  Does that mean that those who abuse others should go unpunished?  No.  In fact I waited for a moment for the guy to have his say before breaking it up because in some ways he really was justified in his anger.  I let it go because I felt that perhaps she needed to understand the effects of her actions and understand that this person had feelings that she had repeatedly injured.  I trusted that the momentary fear would lead her to treat him better in the future.  But then I stepped in as a peacemaker and prayed - yes - for both. 

No comments:

Post a Comment