I am sure you have heard the catastrophic reports on CNN of late - indeed, how could any responsible citizens miss such a flood of concern over the dangerous guns that now have killed thousands. We see such headlines and many akin to them splashed across screens from sea to shining sea. As we know we can rely on the media to report the honest truth, and since reporters have not generally mentioned any human beings wielding said guns, we must conclude that guns are now sprouting little mechanical legs and waddling about on their own, chasing humans down and murdering at will. Surely, such a thing excites alarm and for good reason! I am certain we would all be terrified at the idea of man made machines going terribly wrong and creating a blood running in the streets kind of America.
But CNN will cover that issue. I have perfect confidence in them, so let's move on to another issue pervading our society. I do not think we see nearly enough media coverage of another dangerous killer in our midst. Cheesecake and hot dogs have been secretly working together in order to create diabetes and take over our society by inspiring heart attacks. These murderers have plotted with Netflix to keep human beings on their couches, ingesting obscene amounts of nachos and fries. They not only end human life, but they destroy what life a person may have by confining them to a constant stupor of immediate gratification, keeping them away from fresh air and healthful exertion. Truly, such villains prove cause for fear.
Perhaps our excellent newscasters will pick up on that mafia organization and we will get better details in due time. As we wait, we might as well discuss something never mentioned in the news or mentioned in most periodicals. We find in our society a deplorable lack of responsibility, of healthful thinking, and of self control. Indeed, we read of late that teaching children self control stands as a stain upon the loving, generous parent. Ask children to learn responsibility? Punish them when they do wrongly? Teach them that there is a difference between truth and error? Hold adults accountable for their actions? Defend lawful rules when broken? Recognize that there is a code of moral conduct that ought to stand firm and rule our behavior? Advocate faith in God and tell people to tough it out and wait for the wedding night? Encourage women to give birth rather than willfully and recklessly take their own children's lives? Goodness! I'd best not speak of such ideas above a whisper lest I bring a tirade of hatred against myself from the social powers that be.