*I often attempt to make a point or better humanity in some way via these poor blog posts. Today I beg indulgence to allow the tortured poet in my nature to make a brief cameo. I may prove wrong in this, but sometimes, perhaps, God will allow us to simply prove human, subject to weakness, frailty and soul igniting emotion.
I can't help myself in falling into those consuming, darkened eyes. They drive me to madness, haunting my psyche and following me in my sleep. I try to pull away; they inexplicably find me. Now artless and deceivingly innocent, now penetrating, taking hold of my spirit and refusing to relinquish their grip. I run; I hide; but all these things inevitably profit me nothing. I fear their intensity - an intensity to match the extreme circumstances of my own eternal existence. Their penetration trips my feet and pins my form to the earth; struggle avails naught. They force me down with a deft mastery that all my will cannot conquer and all my energy cannot refute. I plead heaven's rescue, but here I find myself doubly lost, for the majestic powers of those sacred heights surrender me and render me helpless to the whims and desires of those eyes.
I break away with heaving breath but still they watch me, piercing with impunity from God's own merciful throne.
I have always feared them. What their intent or wherefore their pursuit I've never found the ability to comprehend. Lock me into obedience, exhaust my spirit into subservience, and craft me as they will - I haven't strength to save myself.
They wake me in the night, captive as cold sweat courses down my frame and moistens satin sheets. A great, o'erwhelming fist clasps my heart, draining my power almost even to breathe.
Helpless and enslaved, my mind reels, my soul unable to fight. Where would this force take me? What stands as its ultimate plan? Why do I find myself singled out to succumb beneath the waves that press so vehemently down upon me? Will this pull me irresistibly toward darkness or light? Sheer and merciless authority leaves my body limp and lifeless, my consciousness swaying in and out like a strange and hypnotic dance.